MY FIRST LOVE4

The onslaught

I decided to plan my onslaught. I was going to get him at all cost. Firstly, I surfed the internet and found his facebook page. I could not believe he had five thousand friends! My Collins now had his masters degree and he had completed his national service. But I also saw things that made my heart stop. There was this beautiful lady he was with all the time, from the pictures it was obvious that she was his lover and it is clear what the lady wanted to do. She wanted the sharks lurking in the dark to bark off.

Now I had more stumbling blocks in my way.

I immediately copied his phone number and looked at his timeline. I saw he was deep into politics campaigning for the government.
I now discovered why a young man like that could be swimming in money and fame. “Collins is mine” I thought “and I would not let any lady steal what I have laboured for”.

It was getting dusk when I got to Osekan, a spot in Accra. The place was really nice. It was a small spot by the riverside. One would take drinks while viewing the water currents and hearing the noise. It was a pleasant place to be. This was the place I heard Collins used to visit so I went after him.

Fortunately for me he was there. When he saw me he was so surprised. He recognized me immediately and gave me a seat and ordered guinea fowl and some drinks for me. I was morose so although I ate the meat and drank, I could not feel the taste. He had no lady with him that day, I was lucky and I thanked my stars.

I didn’t know people could change like that! He looked so handsome and the air of confidence surrounding him! He had become a winner in life while I was at the bottomless pit of life. He took me to his house at Airport. By this time, it was getting very late but I didn’t care, I was with Collins my first love and that was all that matter. I was on a mission to win him back and nothing was going to hold me back.

When we got to his abode, I got on my knees to apologize; I knew how to get him. He was watching me, obviously he didn’t believe me; he did not know what I was going through. I could see the love in his eyes; he was my man for many years and I knew him very well. I used my tools to get him.

On the day of my visit I looked good. I prepared my castle very well; I used my favorite tools 'whintiaa’, ‘esurowisa’, ‘efformwisa’ and ginger, grinded them and inserted. If I he fell in my arms it would be permanent. I also went to the salon to get my hair, facials and nails done. I wore a white pusher and a pink blouse that partially revealed my navel. I heaped my breasts and put some shine on them. I put on my g-strings and since my blouse was a bit short, when I bend it showed alongside my beautiful colored African beads. Nothing was left to chance; everything I did was calculated to make a hit. So when I was with Collins that night all what I was saying was not entering his mind. All he wanted to do was lay his hands on me and take me to bed. He would just say yes to whatever I'd say. Within some few minutes he was carrying me to his bedroom and tearing my clothes off me! I would never forget that night for I had not had such wonderful sex for so long. I loved every bit of it. He could not have enough of me. We rehearsed a thousand times! Shieeee! Some men can be good in bed ooo!!
My Collins please don’t leave me again I beg you.

Turmoil

Coming back to my first love could not help matters and I would tell you the reason soon. He broke my virginity so he was like an incurable disease in my blood. I simply could not get him out of my system. This time he was complete; he had the credentials that I wanted and I was the underdog, he had outclassed me totally and become more than the man of my dreams. He had risen beyond my fantasy. Collins was a politician now; I heard that he was going to contest to become an MP soon. He undertook projects for his party so he met all the big goons including the president. He had the looks, money and the links.

I on the other hand, could not further my education because I let my beauty get into my head. Moreover, things became difficult for my parents so they let only my elder brother continue with his education. They said I would get a rich man to marry. The excessive partying and chilling got to me and I did not want to learn too. I wanted a short cut to riches. Things did not favor me so I was thinking about a solution when I saw Collins on the television programme. Now that I had already grown, I saw that my poor educational background was even a dent in my image. All the men I met either just used me or were not to my taste. I should have waited patiently for Collins! Now that I had Collins in the line of fire and he was captured in my telescope, I was surely going to gun him down with my tried and proven feminine ammunitions.

I had bust up with his parents. They knew about how I mistreated him and my escapades. They wouldn't give me chance to make amends. This time it was their turn to tell me I was not Collin’s class. His lover too wasn’t making matters easy.

Collins had access to all the ladies he wanted and to tell you the truth I could be number one fifty on his list. There were better ladies who had good academic background, were children of ministers and had good history. Sex alone was not going to be enough in my situation.

Slowly my world was crumbling apart and I could not help it. There was no church programme I did not attend; I did all the fasting and prayers and paid all the offerings to no avail. Collins please save me.

Murder, Death, Kill

I sat in my room and I sobbed silently with my face buried in my palm. My throat was not wide enough to carry out the screams; I was in perpetual agony. I cried about what the enemies of love had done to my first class romance with Collins. Every night I cried myself to sleep, my relationship with Collins was not working at all. He loved his mother and siblings and he could not go against them even though he loved me a lot.

I decided to end it all. My reasons were simple; there was no hope for me in life. I had wrecked my life with bad behavior and the enemies of love had stolen from me the blessing that God had given me. Am sure God knew that at some point in time things would go wrong for my parents and Collins would be there for me. He was a blessing in disguise bestowed on me early in life but I could not foresee that. Now that the flower had matured to expose its beautiful petals and pleasant fragrance was filling the whole place I was nowhere near it. I was been pushed aside.

I decided to write Collins an apology letter before I ended it all. I had a bottle full of sleeping pills beside my bed. By the time he would receive it I would be long gone from this wicked world.

My love,
Am sorry for all that I did to you. I was young then and the enemies of love were a strong current that I could not swim against.

I am tired of life because I realize I have wasted all the opportunities I got. I could not focus on my education, I jilted you and now I don’t have anything to look up to. Thank you for forgiving me and accepting me back. I know we can’t marry because of your mom and siblings.

Please forgive me for the last time and always remember me.

You would forever be my first love.

Yours ever,
Sarabi Akua Asante

When Collins heard about what I had done. He cried. I was sitting beside him in his apartment but he could not see me, I was in a different plane all together. I saw that all I did to him could not be compared to the suicide I had committed. As far as he was concerned I had betrayed him again. He was crying like a baby, his chest heaved up and down and he lamented these painful words,
“oh God! How much more?! How much more?! Oh sarabi what have you done to me. I curse the day I met you, I can’t forgive you, no, never!” He was groaning and he was in so much pain.
He continued “oh Sarabi, I could have given you anything you wanted, oh God, how much more? How much more? Why me? Why me?” He drunk himself to stupor and for a whole week he wouldn’t go out or pick any calls.

Collins did not attend my funeral.

If I could come back to this world again I would tell young ladies that they shouldn’t let their beauty get into their heads because beauty alone is not enough. Hard work and discipline would help them achieve their dreams in life. They should not maltreat those who love them because of money or anything, in Akan there is this proverb that says ‘obi nim obrempong ahasi’. No one knows the beginning of a king.

The end

MY FIRST LOVE 3

Collins

I sat on my sofa watching Collins express himself to the hostess of the TV programme. Collins was very impressive because I could see from the hostess’s face that she was thrilled at his answers. The hostess was now asking him about how he as an SRC leader was able to conduct a successful demonstration when he was at the University of Ghana. The hostess wanted to know how he made the government accept their request not to increase the fees of the university. Moreover, since he had chalked great successes as an SRC president; the hostess was asking him how he had bought five yutong buses for the university within a short time.

“So what was the secret to your success when you were the SRC president?” asked the presenter.

“Am motivated to make a mark in whatever I do and I thought if I helped the university to get those buses it would solve major transportation problems” answered Collins.

“I see you are a very handsome man, do ladies worry you?” enquired the presenter.

“Thanks for the complement. Yes ladies seem to like me but I don’t know why” Collins chipped in modestly.

“I think I could fall in love with you if I had the chance considering your impressive physique and your nice face, especially your moustache” the hostess answered frankly but I think she was shameless.

Truly Collins Asamoah had been 5 feet 3inches then, but he seemed to have added some more height. He was no longer the lanky young man I knew. After losing track of him just for six years he had become the Ghanaian woman’s dream of a handsome man. He was tall and hefty, he had a beautiful complexion. He spoke fluent English and he had the confidence that gave the impression that this young man is on his way to stardom. Seeing him in suit and tie on the TV programme made him look like a minister. I was surprised I could not see any of these qualities when I was with him.

“So how much money have you made my dear young politician?” quizzed the lady.

“hahahaha” Collins laughed and when he laughed he face seemed to glow as it showed maturity and wisdom printed on it.

“Won’t you say anything? Because with the little research I’ve made, you own two beautiful houses at the airport residential area. I also got to know you own one Land cruiser V8 and one saloon car, a Benz” the hostess probed further and revealed shocking news.

“Those houses and cars I received from my uncle in the united states” Collins could not lie convincingly as it showed on his face.

“Ei You politicians! Ok so when would you invite me out?” the young lady presenter was trying to get herself a date on a most watched TV programme! This lady had no shame! She is so loose or maybe I am jealous.

“Very soon” he answered.

“Thank you very much for honoring my invitation” the hostess was honest here.

“You are welcome my dear” Collins answered.

An advert was played by the TV station immediately after the programme. Truly Collins had become an enigma. He was been interviewed everywhere on the TV and radio stations. Ei this world!

So it was true, the lady confirmed what I had heard not long ago. He owned cars now and apartments in expensive localities. Rumor has it that, ladies begged to sleep with him but he gave them no chance whatsoever. The ladies were puzzled.

He was technology savvy for he used the latest of phones like the Samsung galaxy, laptops, ipads that only ministers bought for their girl friends. Enter into his room and you’d be surprised that a young man like him owned all those expensive things you’d in a Samsung shop. He had 52 inch plasma digital Samsung television and used AC in his room. He lived at the airport residential area where the affluent in Ghana lived. He was now a marriage material.

Tears dropped from my eyes as I pondered over all these because it had dawned on me that, I had made a grave mistake. I wish I had been a little bit patient with him. He would have been mine forever. I have always been ambitious and see where it has got me. I have to retrace my steps and find a way to win him back and marry him before it is too late.

Over ambitious

Those days when I was with Collins, I met this young lady who came and rented one of my mother’s rooms. The lady was fair and beautiful. I liked the dresses she wore and the kind life she lived. She was very modern. Almost every evening she used to alight from her boyfriend’s car. I decided to befriend her. It was her who laid the axe to the root of my relationship and ruined our love.

She was a bad lady but I couldn’t figure that out at the beginning because of my inexperience. Her name was Celia. She introduced me to a life that made me loss focus till the point that I could not continue my education to the tertiary level. How could I progress when I had failed my SSS certificate examination? I did not bother to go for re-sit either for I was caught up in a life that I never knew existed. I was really making money and enjoying myself. I got all I wanted and I believed that with time I could become a rich woman. I was wrong.

One of my escapades was with Mr. Jones from Abossey Okai spare parts. This old man had money to spend! He took me out a number of times. I knew that all his raps were lies but I was after the money.

He would say,”sarabi I will take you to Dubai when I return from my next trip” but he never did.
It was always the next trip. He was very stingy! He would buy anything I asked him to but he would not load me with the cash, except some few Cedes. That man was also a monster in bed! His cock was excessively huge and he lasted so long in bed I was always bruised whenever we finished. I knew he took medicine because of the way he dealt with me in bed. It always took him eternity to finish having sex with me. He was nothing like Collins who was so matured and gentle in bed. Oh what I did for money in those days!

I also befriended an Alhaji. He worked at the forex bureau and he could not even speak the English properly. I quite remember his teeth were red from constant chewing of cola and he liked kissing. I endured that because that man gave me real money. I spent the money foolishly. I used the money to buy dresses, ate from expensive restaurants (I hated to cook) and had parties.

My mother was proud of me. As long as she was concerned, I had become a modern sophisticated lady. She liked the fact that I returned with lots of money and shopping materials. I gave her some of what I got and when I did not sleep at home she would lie for me that she sent me to one of my aunts at Aburi.

I think what started this behaviour was my father, he never liked Collins. He would call me when he returned from work and beat me up. He used to beat me till we both run batons in our area while I shouted aloud crying and begging him to leave me alone. Collins was the love of my life but when my father beat me I decided to find someone else. Father would call me at dawn and say “sarabi” I would pretend to be dozing. “That young man is going nowhere in life. Look at his parents they have nothing. I want you to befriend somebody who is rich” my father would say. I would frown and nod. Then he would ask “do you have any question?” I would shake my head and indicating a no.

I wonder how Collins took all that. I was very wicked and that is how he relocated from our neighborhood. I think that move saved his life. He was deep into me and I was bad to the bone; I felt like he was not my class anymore and I would not listen to his pleas no matter how many times he begged. He looked pathetic then and he was so thin because most of the time he wouldn’t eat.

Now, am going to win him back at all cost. If I fail I would end my life. Yes I would end my life because I couldn’t continue my education and am far behind now. Collins was making it in life while I was nowhere; he was my last trump card to success.

MY FIRST LOVE 2

Sarabi

Sarabi was beautiful by all standards. I don’t know if it was the love I had for her that heightened her beauty to me or it was the beauty that made me perceive her like that. When I saw her the first day, she looked at me and I looked away, she was sublime. She used to be naïve those days and when she had closed from school, she used to tell me men stopped in their tracks to look at her. I remember one afternoon, immediately she came home from school she came and told me that a man in a private car stopped beside her and told her that she was beautiful. He told her to be patient so that she would have a good person to take care of her. These praises got to her and changed her radically as we shall see as the story unfolds.

She was the typical African woman. She was a bit heavy; she had the massive African lady buttock that was very shapely and it was so nice to behold (Ghanaian men love this kind of buttocks). She had firm breasts and when she run, the breasts shook slightly and stubbornly by reason of their firmness. The sight of her naked body always left me speechless. She was fair, not like a half cast anyway, but her colour was beautiful because her skin was spotless.

She drilled her nose and put on one cooper earring that made her look like an Alhajia even though she was a Christian. She used to cut her hair because that was the requirement of the school she attended. Even so, Sarabi was devastatingly attractive with well cut short hair.

She liked to paint her nails black, a colour I liked so much. She knew what my heart liked and Sarabi used it very well, to enslave me. Her voice was thin and it was music to my ears. When she calls I would shiver to my spine and the world froze in front of me at this moment I had to stop whatever I was doing and attend to her with immediate effect. I loved this beauty of nature. When I saw her coming while am eating, I lost appetite. Not the kind of appetite one loses when one is in sorrow, but this one was because I felt a knot in my throat and I could not swallow. She was a lady that I adored and this adoration was going to be my punishment and bring me pain I never knew could exist in our world.

I used to give her raps you know? Sometimes I would write her short and powerful lines on her birth day. I would write these words;

You are my fantasy

You are my dream come true

The only thing I have ever wished for in life

The only girl I want to share the rest of my life with

If I should die and come back again I would still choose you Sarabi

I have no regrets falling in love with you

Baby, don’t change I want you just stay as you are with all your beauty and mistakes and everything.

Sarabi’s beauty became a snare to me, I was trapped by it. Once when I saw her emerge from an alhaji’s Barracuda Benz I felt my throat tightened around my neck and my tongue become bitter and I could not breathe properly. I would wait at the back of their wall till she come to see me. In times of my vulnerabilities like this, I would give her my favorite and archaic raps.

Collins: Sarabi

Sarabi: Yes

Collins: Why do you scare me so much?

Sarabi: what have I done?

Collins: stop pretending as if you don’t know what am talking about

Sarabi: Am sorry but the man just gave me a lift

Collins: But I don’t like to see you taking lifts from strange people

Sarabi: I know, am sorry

Collins: Look, dear, you know you are the sugar in my koko and the only wele on my waakye please don’t do this to me again. Please don’t pour sand into my gari.

Sarabi: Ei Collins!! you and your raps, hahaha kekekeke (she laughed like a man, the only thing I didn’t like about her)

Collins: No its true baby. Honestly you are the last apataa on my fufu

(at this time she would burst forth with laughter and passersby would be looking at us).

Sarabi: Darling, am sorry I promise not to hurt your tender heart again.

(Sarabi would say this still laughing with tears in her eyes)

By this time, my world would return to normalcy again and I would go home whistling to myself and be in a cheerful mood for the rest of the day.

This beauty was what destroyed the friendship we could have built. As a young man, I could not wait to touch her with the least opportunity. I think she was very good at it and I could not have enough of her. For instance, there were days she would visit me when no one was around and did things to me that turned me on like an electric switch. She could visit with just trousers and nothing under her with her African beads showing, her massive buttons shown like two fufu put together with only a thin line in between and the beauty of her skin shown like the sun in all its glory so that I wanted to shield my eyes from the rays. At this time, I felt like my feet were been bitten by a thousand ants and my chest had the sense of hot water been poured on it and to top it all, my cock begun to hurt. So we would not chat at all. Business all the way, the luckiest man, I envied myself.

I had no time to chat her up and as we grew together this became a problem. No communication no link and I could not get to her when there was trouble. We could sit down several minutes without saying anything to each other. She turned the friendship to her friends and they gave her counsel that did not favor me. Actually they said I don’t quality, I was not her class.

My gifts

Love they say is blind and young men in love are often foolish. I was foolish. I loved her more than my life and as far as I was concerned I thought she was the best thing that did happen to me at that time.

I had an uncle who resided in the United States of America. He used to send me money and cloths and so on. One day my uncle sent us a message and some items. In those days, mobile phones had not existed for me; at least I didn’t know they were in the system. Before we could talk to my uncle, we went to the city at a specific date and talked to my uncle in the US from a call center. But the favorite medium my uncle used was cassette recordings. He would speak as if we were there and record it and send it to us by post mail. I remember when we got the cassette from the post office, my mother and us would gather in a circle with the cassette player in the middle while we listened attentively to the tape.

My uncle was a good conversationalist because he talked as if we were around him and he addressed us individually. One could feel his love radiate towards him or her when one listened to his recordings. He would then show us what each of the items he had sent belonged to. Everybody got something nice. My uncle sent me my first pink walkman. Those days it was walkman and not CD players that one would find in Ghana. Even it was very rare to see a person use a walkman.

I used to get money this way and anytime I got some money I channeled it to Sarabi. I even stole some of my sister’s latest American dresses and shoes for her. My sister receives the clothes but never wore them. She would rather admire the dresses in her big bags, and so, I also made sure I stole them for my lover and amazingly my sister could not know realize Sarabi was wearing her dresses, she had a lot. Sarabi too did not know I stole the dresses for her.

I used to save my money with Sarabi but I never got a pesewa. When it was time for me to collect my money she would say the money is gone. Sometimes she spent the money with her mom. I didn’t care, in contrast I was happy. When I went to visit my uncle in the US and every pesewa I got on that holiday I sent to Sarabi and she spent the money as quick as they arrived.

She was a great spender as most Ghanaian ladies are. Actually her hobby was spending. I had to provide the money for her to spend or I got spent. In spite of all these gifts she always complained that she was broke. In retrospect, I got nothing in return instead she took me to the university of hard knocks.

The golf between us

Children or young adults are advised by parents not to get involve in love affairs. The reason is that they don’t know what they want. Once they grow up they realize this is not the kind of person they want to spend my life with. People grow to become who they really are. Not because their partners are bad but their behavior, likes and dislikes or even looks (sometimes even height) is not to their taste. But by this time they have to stick together because they’ve gone too far with each other. This I think is the root cause for adultery.

When you are young, you don’t know what you want. A young person may fall for a caterpillar today but the caterpillar would grow to become a butterfly tomorrow. Not everybody like butterflies. For instance, I know of friends who don’t like obaa -kokor; they say the competition is too much!

Although I was older than Sarabi by 5yrs it made no difference in our relationship. I noticed a gulf between us. She grew to look older than me and more beautiful. I grew taller and lanky and my friends called me taller. Actually it looked like a mismatch.

I was an introvert while she was an extrovert. My major temperament was melancholy while she was a thick skinned choleric. We could not relate match. While she attended all the parties I was at home reading story books. I wanted to go out with her but I could not make myself to. I could not also discuss the stories I read, she would rather watch Nigerian movies rather than listen to me tell stories read from a novel.

She liked parties and you would always find her sitting with three or four friends. I liked to stay in my room alone. So the devil invaded this crack in our relationship. All manner of friends came in and turned my lover’s heart against me. I would tell this side of the story in part three of this book.

She became better in height and looks and she grew mentally mature than me. This is why I think a man should not marry his age. She had the courage to go to places I could not muster the courage to. The parties she attended and the big guys she related to all lead to build an inferiority complex in me. She practically lost respect for me.

One day, she told me am not her class. I wept the whole day and she wrecked three whole years of my life. Adults say it is not good for a person to marry their first love and I think it is true. Because by this time, I had witnessed the monster of a beauty she had turned become and I was always on my knees begging her not to live me. I was kissing her dirty feet by this time. Whatever she did to me, the pain she caused, the tears and sorrow and broken hearts all vanishes when she appears and returned as fast as she left. She became my nightmare. I had a lady friend I used to lament to and the lady would try to console me to no avail. I kept kissing Sarabi’s dirty fit till she lost every ounce of respect she had for me.

I learnt an invaluable lesson. If I would ever trust ladies and marry in the future, I would never marry my first love. With my first love, my emotions were in chaos and out of complete balance. But another lady would not have all my love, for that I could be myself and reject her if I wanted to and this kind of behavior would earn me the respect I deserve as a man. I can have to courage to enforce my rules on my second love and succeed and I believe that kind of emotional control would make our relationship last longer than most relationships.

Ladies have no respect for men who kiss their feet but for men who are hard on them (‘mbaa p3 nkwasia fuo’); yes a man must start the relationship from their feet with proposal but that should be the first and last. Once you stand as a man never go on your knees else you would lose your throne. If you would go on your knees then it is when you have committed a grave error against her, but even that should be very brief, perhaps in nano-seconds.

By this time I had started hearing rumors that made me develop heart burns. This side of the story would be told in the Part three of this piece. I cried though it was hard for me to cry as a man. Rumors that made me drink alcohol like a fish for I did not know how to alleviate myself of this suffering and mental torture. The alcoholic drink would numb my hurt and bruised emotions so that I could continue living. Nothing could console me. My only wish was that I could put my hand in my chest and remove what I had for her inside me. She had me, I was her slave and she was a bully. She used to humiliate me too. She used to hold my cock from my trouser in front of her friends and asked if I wanted to use it on her. I relocated to another city in no time.